


Bitch Better Have My Money

by logastellusaur



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Monopoly (Board Game), bad banter and even worse characterization, capitalism for kids and immature adults, i have a lot of regrets but this sure aint one of them, im sorry I couldnt fit kuwei, kaz is a gecko apparently, occasional shakira jokes, pineapple pizza feuds, they play monopoly because im dumb and have bad ideas, they're on teams because wtf this was hard to write, why did i write 18k of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logastellusaur/pseuds/logastellusaur
Summary: Chaos, Shakira jokes, and ended friendships; A novel. Join our favorite murder of crows as they play a game of Monopoly that’ll test their loyalties, quick-wittedness, and ability to take their turns without snapping someone’s neck- verbally, of course (at least we hope). I, the writer, apologize in advance for any and all brain damage this may cause you, however I ran out of waiver forms a while ago.My piece for the Grishaverse Big Bang 2020!
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20
Collections: Grishaverse Big Bang 2020





	Bitch Better Have My Money

“Alright, left here,” Inej directed, grabbing Nina’s hand and steering her the right way.  
“Ugh, Google Maps should make up it’s mind.” Nina stumbled along, her high heeled boots clicking on the pavement.  
“Does Google Maps have a mind?” Inej looked down at her phone, looked back up at the street sign, then turned Nina to the left.  
“Hive mind. All knowing AI,” Nina suggested, making a face when her sunglasses fell onto her nose. She pushed them back on her head.  
“Well, can this all knowing hivemind put the correct directions on the screen,” Inej murmured. “Okay, Porter Street is. . .” she trailed off, squinting at the map. Whenever she tried to zoom in, the street names would change and it would spit her out of the app. She’d have to get it fixed.  
“Porter Street?” Nina asked. She took a loud sip of her boba tea. “That’s just down the corner, isn’t it?”  
Inej turned off her phone and shoved it in the pocket of her jacket. “Please, lead the way.”  
“I thought you’d never ask,” Nina cooed, slipping her arm around Inej’s shoulders. “Why are we even getting pizza for them? They should get it themselves!”  
“I love him to death, but I don’t trust Jesper not to come back hours later and forget about us,” Inej said, smiling at a baby in a stroller.  
“It’s hard to forget someone like you,” Nina quipped. Decisively, she added, “And someone like me.”  
“I doubt all ten thousand of your Instagram followers would forget you.”  
Nina shook her head. “I got asked for toe pics yesterday, frankly, I hope they forget about me. So,” she took another sip, “which piece are we reserving?”  
“Piece?” Inej checked the time on her phone. “Left here?”  
Nina nodded. “Which Monopoly piece? Jesper already called the dog, which, rude, but we still have good options. The battleship’s badass.”  
When Inej turned the corner, she immediately knew which shop she had ordered from. The red and white striped awning reminded her of an old candy store. Outside was a white metal table with matching chairs. They were of the frilly variety, as frilly as metal could be. On the window in a cursive font said Maye’s Pizza, just as the logo on their website.  
“Fancy,” Nina remarked, opening the door for Inej.  
Inside, the store mirrored a dinner from the sixties, almost so much so she doubted it had changed since the sixties. The floor was painted the iconic black and white checkers, the walls with an almost unbearably bright turquoise. The booths, pushed to the walls, were almost the same cherry red color as Nina’s shirt, with a white stripe running down the middle. The walls were covered with old movie posters, old records, and polaroids. In the corner was a jukebox, though Inej doubted it worked anymore.  
“And you’re telling me this place only does pizza?” Nina asked, grin wide.  
“No, pizza’s just the easiest to share with a big group.” Inej walked up to the counter, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. Nina’s buzzed simultaneously, and she clicked her tongue.  
“Matthias is on his way, he’ll wait for us outside,” Nina read. She squinted. “Hold up, gotta take this.”  
As Nina took the call, an employee ran out of the kitchen, smoothing their pale blue apron.  
“Hi, welcome to Maye’s Pizza, what can I do for you today?” they asked, offering a smile to Inej.  
“Pick up for Inej Ghafa?” Inej pulled out her wallet.  
To the left of her, she could hear Nina on the phone call. “No. Are you kidding?” The words were so general, so Inej tuned her out, grabbing her card.  
“Three large pizzas, two pepperoni and one pineapple?” The cashier asked. She nodded.  
As she was paying, she could hear Nina yelling at whoever was on the phone. “What? I mean- can you put him on?” Nina asked, annoyance in her voice. She turned to Inej and mouthed a sorry.  
“Alright, I’ll be right back with your pizzas.” The cashier disappeared once more into the kitchen.  
Inej took a seat in one of the booths. She watched Nina’s face contort in confusion as she listened to the phone. Inej began to tap her foot to the bright pop music playing softly on the speakers.  
“Hey? Okay? It’s sugar.” Nina paused. “No. Yes. Maybe. It’s not important, we don’t have to use the frosting.” Nina plopped down into the booth across from Inej. She stuck out her tongue with an expression that told Inej some of what she wanted to know. “Have you talked to Genya about this? I’m sure she’s a fine baker! No, I’m not Matha Stewart.” Inej took out her phone. No notifications, except for a text from Matthias saying he was on his way. She opened his text and responded with a thumbs up.  
As she was trying to Shazam a song that was playing, the cashier came back with her pizzas. “Thank you!” she chirped, taking the boxes off their hands and sliding them into her arms.  
As she opened the door for Inej, Nina hung up. “I told them that I was taking an off day, and yet I still get calls. About frosting and muffins.”  
“What was that about?” Inej asked, genuinely curious.  
Nina waved her hand and took a sip of her probably not cold anymore boba tea. She swallowed. “We were going to do a bake sale next week, making cupcakes and pastries and other lovely delicacies of the sort. It was not my job, but someone forgot to get sugar, so Nik and Zoya were arguing about whether or not to just use the frosting on the muffins. Which, kinda gross.”  
As Nina was finishing her story, they saw Matthias’ car pull into view. It stopped by the curb next to them, and the passenger’s seat window rolled down. Nina poked her head through.  
“Always a pleasure, Matthias,” she said with a wink, taking another sip.  
Matthias eyed her drink and shook his head. “Not in here.”  
“Are you kidding me? It won’t spill!” she protested, pulling on the car door. It was locked. “You drive a Chevy Suburban, a car made for carpooling kids to soccer practice. Kids are the most unhygienic things on the planet.”  
Matthias narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have kids in my car, Zenik.”  
Nina scoffed. “I hope not.”  
“Nina, just throw it away,” Inej said.  
“Only if, at any point in the game, we get one hundred dollars in Monopoly money,” Nina said with a smirk.  
“Throw it away, then.” Matthias sounded bored.  
“Maybe I will!” Nina jogged over to the nearest trash can, down the street.  
“Is that hundred dollars going to cost you the game?” Inej joked.  
“Let’s hope not.” 

“Heyo!” Nina yelled when she opened the door, stepping aside to let Inej and Matthias in.  
“I hope this isn’t cold by now,” Inej said, placing the boxes down and opening the first one.  
Nina peered over her shoulder and frowned. “Alright. Pineapple pizza.” She inhaled. “Which one of you cowards ordered pineapple pizza!” she yelled.  
Inej flinched. “Don’t shoot the messenger.”  
“Yeah, don’t!” Jesper poked his head around the door frame, stepping in when he saw the pizza. “One, my job. Two, Inej is lovely,” he slipped an arm around Inej’s shoulders, “and we’d all sob for days if she was gone.”  
Nina crossed her arms and smirked. “Sounds like something a guilty person would say.”  
Jesper scoffed. “And what exactly are my charges? Hot and dangerous?” He reached for a slice.  
“Dangerous if you don’t wash your hands first,” Nina taunted, swatting his hand away. He stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the favor.  
“If you’re fighting already this won’t be pleasant,” Matthias said, pulling out a chair from the round table.  
“Oh dearest, Monopoly isn’t about having a good time,” Nina called as she and Jesper left the room to, Inej hoped, wash their hands, “it’s about burning bridges and ruining friendships.”  
As Jesper and Nina left the room, Kaz entered, dropping the Monopoly box on the table next to the pizza. He took his seat next to Matthias.  
“How long do these games take?” Matthias asked. Inej knew he, and most likely Kaz, wanted this to be done as soon as possible. Depending on how the game went for Nina, she might feel the same way soon enough.  
Kaz checked the side of the box. “Sixty to ninety minutes.”  
“And families play a game about managing money and properties for fun?” Matthias shook his head.  
“We’ve been over this.” Nina entered the room once more. “You wouldn’t know fun if it slapped you in the face.”  
“I thought he wouldn’t know a good time if it stuck a lollipop in his mouth,” Inej said.  
“Yes, that too.” Nina took a seat. “Where are the plates?”  
“Good question,” Kaz said.  
“We got the actual pizza, you have to get the plates. Do your part.” Nina slid a box over to her and pulled out a slice. “I have nowhere to put this now, if you could be a dear and help.”  
With an exasperated sigh, Matthias stood. “Thank you!” Inej called.  
“Did Kaz wash his hands?” Jesper appeared in the doorway, arms crossed.  
“I hope so,” said Inej.  
“Never trust a man whose nickname is Dirtyhands,” Wylan said, taking a seat opposite Kaz.  
“I washed my hands,” Kaz said with little emotion as Matthias came back into the room with a stack of plates, three soda cans piled on top of the stack.  
“I got sparkling water,” he said, placing them down next to the pineapple pizza box.  
Nina stuck out her tongue and scrunched her face. “I’ll pass.” Inej took a seat next to her, grabbing a plate and a can.  
“Try to avoid getting grease on the pieces, please?”  
“I know, Inej.” Nina was opening the box with one hand, pizza slice in the other. She hadn’t taken a plate, so Inej took one for her and placed it in front of her.  
“I’ll go get scissors,” Wylan offered, when Nina opened the box to reveal every piece still in packaging.  
“Look at all that money,” Jesper said, grabbing the bag with the playing pieces.  
“Paper,” Kaz corrected.  
“Now including the cat!” Nina read, “Voted the number one new token!” She scoffed. “Is this what marketing is now?”  
“Alright,” Wylan sighed and dropped the scissors on the table carelessly.  
“What?” Jesper asked, right in the middle of opening one of the plastic bags. He looked down at the now open bag. “Oh.”  
“It’s fine,” Inej said, reaching out to grab the scissors from across the table, using them to open the bag with the dice.  
Nina took out the board, opening it up and setting it in the middle of the table. “These pizza boxes are ruining the vibe.” She frowned. “Alright, grab what you need and I’ll put the rest in the fridge.  
Jesper grabbed two slices, having four in total on his plate. When Inej looked at him with concern, he asked, “What? It takes a lot to power something so. . .” he looked for the right word. “Powerful.”  
After Matthias grabbed a second slice, Nina closed the boxes, stacking them on top of each other, and left for the kitchen.  
“Alright, so me and Wylan call the dog,” Jesper said, sorting through the pieces now scattered on the table in front of him. “Would you like to be, as Nina and the Monopoly boxed coined it, the illustrious, voted number one token; the cat.”  
“Does it matter?” Matthias said.  
Jesper looked offended. “Very much, good sir.”  
Nina took her seat again. “That old car looks super fun to drive,” she said, picking the piece up to study it. “I bet it’s owner doesn’t mind people drinking in it.” She gave Matthias a cold glare.  
“Top hat?” Matthias looked to Kaz for approval. He nodded.  
They all placed their respective pieces on GO, Jesper grabbing the die from the box and placing them in the center of the board.  
Nina opened the bag containing the chance cards. “So who’s bank?”  
“Me,” Jesper said almost simultaneously, as if he had been waiting for someone to ask the question.  
“I’ve never played, please help me with rules,” Wylan said. “I know the gist but- what are those for?” He pointed to the bag of tiny green plastic houses and red plastic hotels Inej pulled from the box.  
“I could use a reminder too.” Nina grabbed for the rules. “Blah blah, choking hazard.” She turned the first page, her eyes flickering across the paper, skimming the words.  
Very quickly and in a bored tone, she began to read. “Starting with the Banker, each player in turn throws the dice, the player with the highest roll starts the play, place your token on the corner marked GO, yeah yeah. Put the Chance and Community Chest cards face down on their allotted spaces on the board.” She sighed. Inej put the stack of Community Chest Cards on the board and handed the Chance cards to Kaz to put on his side of the board.  
“Each player is given fifteen hundred dollars divided as follows- okay.” Jesper began taking the money out of the box.  
“Alright, alright, give me a second.” She waited for him to get the paper sorted, although it wasn’t too hard, already being sorted.  
“Two five hundred dollar bills,” she waited. “Two one hundred dollar bills.” Another pause. “Two fifty dollar bills. Six twenty dollar bills. Five ten dollar bills. Five five dollar bills, and five one dollar bills.”  
“Does it really have to be so separated like that?” Inej asked.  
Matthias shrugged. “I guess it’s easier to pay that way.”  
“Okay,” Jesper exhaled, having completed a set of bills that would belong to any of the six of them. He began the process again, tapping his foot on the floor, separating the bills.  
As he sorted, Nina kept reading. “All remaining money and equipment will go to the bank okay.” She skimmed, looking for something relevant to read aloud, something that wasn’t the obvious.  
“Whenever you land on an unowned property you may buy that property from the Bank at it’s printed price. You receive the Title Deed card showing ownership, place it face up in front of you.” Nina looked up from the sheet. “We’re not doing auctions, right?”  
“Probably?” Inej shrugged. “Too confusing, you can just skip.”  
Nina kept plowing on with a sigh. “When you land on a property owned by another player, the owner collects rent from you in accordance with the Title Deed card, yeah yeah.” She closed the instructions. “I’m not doing this anymore. We get it right?”  
“What are these for again, anyways?” Inej asked, holding the houses in her hands. When Nina let out a loud groan, Inej quickly said, “Okay, I’ll read this time.” She opened the instructions.  
“When you own all the properties in a color group you may buy houses from the Bank and erect them on those properties.” Jesper snorted. Inej plowed on. “The price you must pay the Bank for each house is shown on your Title Deed card for the property on which you erect the house. When other players land on properties with houses on them, they must pay the amount as indicated on the Title Deed card for the property.”  
“Oh, right. And hotels are like buffed houses?” Nina asked.  
Inej nodded. “It’s easier to play than explain.”  
“Wow, that was boring,” Jesper sighed. He placed his hands on the back of his head and leaned back in his chair, the front legs hovering off the floor. “On the bright side, if anyone was spying on us through the windows, they would’ve left by now.”  
“Let’s just play,” Matthias interjected.  
“Are we sure none of you are going to cheat?” Nina asked, dubious.  
“How do you even cheat in Monopoly, anyways?” Jesper asked.  
“If we never land on their properties, it’s pretty obvious,” Wylan said from beside him.  
“Whose side are you on?” Jesper asked his teammate.  
Wylan shrugged. “The side of a good, clean, game.”  
“I don’t know about clean,” said Nina, “blood will be spilt if we don’t win.”  
Matthias swallowed a bite of his pizza. “Now would be a good time to cheat to make them win if you want to stay alive.”  
Nina smirked. “He’s got the right idea.”  
“I have no problem with rolling for him,” Matthias said, tilting his head toward Kaz.  
Jesper scoffed. “What, so I don’t get to roll?”  
Inej shrugged. “Up to you?”  
He picked up the dice and shook them in his hand. “We have to roll to see who goes first?” Nina nodded. He rolled. “Six. Not that bad.”  
Nina grabbed the dice. She shook them with both hands, her right covering her left. “You wanna do it?” she asked Inej. Inej shook her head. Nina rolled. “Ten! Let’s go!”  
“Alright, I have faith,” Jesper said, passing the dice to Wylan.  
“You roll a one,” Nina joked with a smirk.  
“With two dice?” Wylan asked, throwing said dice on the table. Nina laughed. “Two. Okay.”  
Jesper shook his head. “We’re never gonna win now.”  
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Wylan grumbled.  
“We’re going first, baby!” Nina’s eyes sparkled, and she balled her fists in excitement. “Would you like to do the honors?”  
“I would like nothing more.” Inej rolled. A three.  
“Baltic Avenue,” Nina read as Inej moved the small car forward three spaces. “We’ll take it!”  
“It’s a brown property, not gonna do us much good,” Inej commented.  
“That’ll be sixty dollars.” Jesper held out his hand for the paper money, and Nina, begrudgingly, handed him her due.  
“In the long run it could,” Nina said, still visibly salty over her lost sixty dollars. Inej decided, for one of the several times that night, that this was going to be a long game.  
Matthias made a grab for the dice, giving them a vigorous shake before they clattered down onto the board. He moved the tiny top hat five spaces, landing on a railroad.  
“A railroad on the first turn? You sure you didn’t load the dice?” Jesper asked, suspicion in his voice.  
“It’s still yet to be proven that you haven’t loaded the dice, so don’t point fingers,” Matthias said, handing him the two hundred dollars in exchange for the Reading Railroad property card. Inej didn’t remember much from the last time she played Monopoly, only that railroads caused lots of arguments and passive aggressive jabs.  
“I really like this top hat,” Nina commented, grabbing the piece and placing it on her pointer finger. Kaz glared at her. She stuck out her tongue before placing it back on the table.  
“Alright, good first roll, I believe,” Jesper said as Wylan picked up the dice and began to shake. He dropped them on the table and they made a satisfying sound. “Doubles! I don’t think you got doubles on your first roll, did you?” he joked, making a jab at Kaz and Matthias and Nina and Inej.  
“No, but we got Baltic Avenue on our first turn, I don’t think you did that, did you?” Nina countered.  
“If we’re talking about good first turns,” Inej added, “Matthias and Kaz got a railroad on their first turn.”  
Jesper took his pawn and placed it six spots away from go, the property right in front of Kaz and Matthias’ newly owned railroad. Inej thought about how it would be an unfortunate foreshadowing to land on someone else’s property and have to pay them money on your first turn. Although, at this point, it wouldn’t be a big dent in the fifteen thousand dollar budget they were all currently on.  
“Oriental Avenue,” Jesper read. He shrugged. Looked to his teammate for confirmation.  
“Whatever you can get, this early in the game, right?” Inej said. Jesper began to sift through the multicolored piles of paper money, doing mental calculations.  
“You get to roll again if you get doubles, right?” Wylan asked. Inej nodded.  
“I think we should limit it to one double per turn,” Kaz said. Inej wondered if those rules were for the greater good or for his inevitable gain, though it was almost pointless- of course it was the latter.  
“At least in the last game I played, if you got three doubles in a row, you went to jail,” Inej said before taking a bite of her pizza.  
“There are so many different versions of Monopoly, I feel like the actual rules just don’t exist.”  
“Nina, you were the one who just read said rules aloud,” Matthias said.  
Nina shrugged. “Who says those were the actual official rules?”  
Jesper grabbed the rulebook. “It says here official rules for Monopoly, trademark.”  
“Anyways,” Nina said, dodging the question, “we’ll make up the rules as we go.”  
“The crueler it sounds, the more likely it’s a monopoly rule,” Matthias added.  
“Probably true.” Jesper nudged Wylan beside him. “Second roll!”  
“Second roll,” Wylan repeated. He rolled a two.  
“Vermont Avenue, not as cool as Oriental,” Jesper noted, “but hey that’s already two properties down to get a monopoly!”  
“Oh wait, you’re right,” Inej heard Nina say under her breath. “What if you just- did us a solid and not buy that and give it to someone else?”  
“No can do, Zenik.” Jesper took the property card, starting a stack next to their pile of money.  
“On the bright side,” Inej said, “they have less money now.”  
Nina scoffed. “By what, two hundred dollars?”  
“Two hundred dollars is a lot, for the later turns.”  
“But right now is the newer turns,” Nina protested, grabbing the dice from where they laid in the center of the board. She rolled a four. “Couldn’t have been twos, could you?” she grumbled, counting out four spaces.  
They landed on a chance. Inej grabbed the top card from the pile in the center of the board, and read aloud, “Your building and loan matures-”  
“Sweet, one hundred fifty bucks!” Nina cut her off, reading over her shoulder. She held her hand out. “Would the banker be so kind?” She received her money, handing it to Inej, who sorted it out by color.  
“Take it in before it’s gone,” Matthias added solemnly.  
“I know losing your money is going to be really hard for this one,” Nina said, cocking her head towards Kaz.  
“I don’t mind losing money if I win the game,” Kaz said in retaliation.  
“It’s a kids game.”  
“A cruel one at that,” Matthias said to Nina. He picked up the dice and rolled. “Five,” he said aloud. “Nina, would you be so kind as to return the top hat?”  
She made a sour face, still clutching the pawn. “Fine.” She placed the piece down on the railroad, and not soon after it was moved by Matthias five spaces, right outside of the jail.  
“Just visiting, thankfully. Can you imagine going back to area fifty one?” Jesper joked.  
“What a time,” Nina said wistfully. “Let’s never go back to Nevada again.”  
“I second that,” Inej said.  
Wylan rolled the dice. Jesper moved the dog, taking his time to tap every single space along the way to St. James Place, which they almost instantly bought.  
Nina took the dice. She shook. Rolled. A five. “Remind me,” she said, as their piece landed on the Electric Company, “are the utilities useful?”  
“They are if you have both of them,” Kaz advised, “other than that, they don’t do much.”  
Inej shrugged. “Why not. We can just sell it, anyways.” Nina nodded, handing over her bills to Jesper and setting the Electric Company card next to her Baltic Avenue.  
Matthias took the dice. Inej counted in her head. “Community chest,” she announced, as he moved the top hat.  
Kaz took the top card from the pile, reading it aloud. “Get out of jail free card.”  
Nina scoffed and shook her head. “We stopped the dice cheating, but we didn’t even consider chance cards.”  
“Let’s be honest,” Jesper said, “he would find his way out of jail even in board games.”  
“By using the get out of jail free card?” Nina asked. “Or cheating?”  
“Hopefully the former,” Wylan commented, picking up the dice. He rolled a six.  
“Another chance card, though I can’t imagine having a community chest chance card, and not the original chance card.” Jesper’s jab was directed to Kaz and Matthias, neither of which took it upon them to respond. He took the top card from the chance card pile. His jaw dropped and his face morphed into an expression Inej wasn’t sure meant good things for the rest of them.  
“Jesper,” Nina started, “read the damn card.”  
He read, his expression smug, “Take a walk on boardwalk, advance to boardwalk.”  
Nina threw her hands up. “Bullshit! You rigged the chance cards too!”  
“Boardwalk?” Wylan said in disbelief. “That’s the best property!”  
“And I refuse to believe it came to you on your first turn,” Nina jabbed.  
“Boardwalk is useless without Park Place,” Kaz added. “The rent doesn’t get unbearable until you have houses or hotels.”  
“He has a point,” Inej added. “We could get Park Place our next turn, you never know.”  
Nina scoffed. “What, and roll double twelves? Kaz over here-” she waved her hand at him- “shot down that idea with the whole no double doubles.”  
While they were talking, Jesper haid paid himself- the bank- for Boardwalk. Inej started to wonder if he paid the actual price of the property, but when she saw four hundred dollars leave their savings, she didn't need to wonder anymore. Inej picked up the dice.  
“Doubles!” Nina yelped. “Not twelve, though it would be cool if I was psychic.” Nina took the small toy car in her hand and moved it too- “Free parking? What does that even do anymore?”  
“I played once where free parking was a cash prize,” Wylan said.  
“Lovely!” Nina said as simultaneously, Matthias said, “No!” They both locked eyes in a stare that made the room thick with tension. Inej prepared herself for lots of bickering.  
“Here we go,” she heard Jesper sigh.  
“Let’s be civil about this,” Nina said, her voice sweet and diplomatic, “shall we?”  
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Matthias matched her tone, only he let a drop of anger in his voice.  
“Why wouldn’t we have free parking as a jackpot?”  
“We don’t even know completely what that means!” Jesper tried to interject, but neither of the parties made a move to acknowledge he had spoken.  
Matthias said, his expression souring with every second, “The rules of what we’re discussing here aren’t fully explained, we don’t know what exactly you’re suggesting.”  
“That’s what I said!” Jesper yelled, throwing up his hands and shooting a look at Inej that said, can you believe this? She could, and honestly, was surprised Nina and Matthias hadn’t gotten them all caught in a crossfire, even this early in the game.  
“I don’t find stolen arguments very compelling,” Nina said assertively.  
“Thank you!” Jesper joined Nina, his glare at Matthias just as menacing.  
“I agree with Helvar,” Kaz said, taking his stake in the argument.  
Wylan audibly sighed before he joined. “I agree with Matthias.”  
Nina gasped dramatically. “You’re just saying this because I’m the one getting the money!”  
“Inej is too!” Jesper pointed out. They all turned to Inej. She shrugged. Nina nodded, motioning for her to say something preferable for them.  
Inej shrugged again. “I don’t know exactly what the rule means either, so we skip?”  
“You guys are the worst,” Nina groaned, “just wait until you have to mortgage all of your properties and are looking for extra money. You’ll be begging for us to play with that rule.”  
“What we’ll be begging for,” he said, “is for this game to end.”  
“Someone roll the dice, please,” Inej said in an attempt to defuse this conversation before it escalated further. She knew the dangers of letting Nina and Jesper bicker for more than a couple seconds- it would quickly turn into an episode of Real Housewives of Ketterdam. Accepting Inej’s suggestion, Matthias picked up the dice and rolled. Almost wordlessly, Jesper and Kaz exchanged the money for Atlantic Avenue. Early in the game, whatever properties you can get are what you buy. Inej saw Jesper sneak an extra look at Kaz’s payment, mouthing something that told her he was doing mental math.  
As Jesper slid the property deed card across the table, Wylan picked up the dice and rolled. Beside Inej, Nina leaned forward, cupping her cheek and supporting her head with her palm. Her eyes were narrow, and she had a bored look about her, though she was the one who had proposed a game night in the first place.  
They were silent as Jesper took his and Wylan’s turn, moving the small dog pawn six spaces.  
“Hey!” Nina yelped when she saw Jesper grab two one hundred dollar bills and place them with the rest of their savings.  
“They passed go,” Inej whispered to her.  
Nina frowned. “I wanna pass go. No fair that you guys got both Boardwalk and two hundred dollars in Monopoly cash in only two turns.”  
“Please, give me a call and tell me whenever this game becomes fair,” Matthias mused.  
“Oh shit, and you own that railroad too,” Jesper swore, frowning as he placed the pawn on the only owned railroad on the board. He sighed and looked up at Kaz and Matthias. “How much?”  
Kaz looked at the card. “Twenty five.”  
“That’s not that bad,” Nina commented as the transaction was made. “It’s when they have all of the railroads when that price becomes brutal.” She rolled the dice, moving the tiny car five spaces accordingly.  
“Water Works.” She joked, “Sounds like the state you all are going to be in when me and Inej beat your asses.”  
“Big talk from someone with no Boardwalk,” Jesper retorted with a snort.  
“What, just because it rhymes means I’m supposed to be intimidated?”  
“If you know what’s good for you, yes.”  
“I’m quaking in my boots.” Nina peered at the board for the price of the property, then held her hand out with the according amount to Jesper. “My property card, please?” she asked sweetly. Jesper scoffed and they traded, card for fake cash. Inej had to admit, it was nice to have Nina take over and play the game for her. Though, she would’ve liked a little confirmation, though the answer to buying properties at this stage is always yes.  
Nina slid the dice over the table to Matthias. He rolled.  
“Hah!” Jesper called in triumph. “Go to jail, you dirty cheaters!” Inej and Nina started to laugh. Oh, the irony.  
“Not so fast,” Kaz said, and Inej could swear she saw a smile on his face as he held up the chance card in between his two fingers.  
“Damn, I forgot about that,” Jesper said under his breath, his body deflating.  
“Be glad we’re using the card and not some ulterior motive, as you so dashingly put it,” Matthias said, sliding the card at the bottom of the pile of community chest cards. He put the tiny top hat next to the jail space, on ‘just visiting’.  
“I don’t remember quite what I said, but I doubt it was ulterior motive.” Jesper passed the dice to his teammate. A second four next to Kaz and Matthias’, neither turns rolling doubles.  
Jesper turned to Wylan beside him. “Whaddya say, we give Connecticut Avenue a try?”  
“Thanks for consulting me this time,” he responded, and Inej swore she saw a small roll of his eyes. “And sure.”  
And then it was Nina and Inej’s turn again. This time, Inej made a grab for the dice herself. Beside her, Nina rubbed her palms together. She winked at Inej. “Our lucky turn.” They landed on a chance card.  
Inej took the top from the stack, and started to read aloud. “Horse race betting. Each player roll the dice, the player who rolls the highest number collects fifty dollars from the player who landed on the chance card.” Inej squinted her eyes, racking her brain. “I don’t remember this card.”  
From the looks of the others sitting at the table, neither did they. Nina shrugged. “Who knows. Maybe it was a mistake in printing?”  
Inej studied the card. It had an illustration of the little Monopoly man, too. “Looks legit.”  
Nina shrugged. “Mistakes happen. For all of your sakes, I will be refraining from making jokes about your lovely mothers and fathers at this point in time.” She grabbed the dice from where they lay on the board. She rolled a ten. Wordlessly, both with smug faces, the teammates high fived.  
Matthias was next to roll. An eight. “More doubles,” Nina commented. “Why can’t we get these when we’re actually rolling for something.”  
“We are,” Jesper pointed out as he handed the dice to Wylan. “Fifty dollars is important. Alright.” He turned to Wylan, his tone mentorly. “Higher than a ten.”  
“Only two numbers of breathing room, sure yeah, totally,” Wylan said sarcastically as he shook the dice. Nina threw her hands up in disbelief and scoffed. They had rolled an eleven.  
Jesper wrapped his partner in a bear hug. “You’re the best. I want no one else rolling my dice, ever.”  
“You’re serious?” she groaned. Jesper pulled away.  
“Dead. The dice don’t lie,” Jesper said. He crossed his arms and smirked. After a moment, he added, “And neither do these hips.”  
Matthias groaned. “Please do not start singing Shakira. I will leave.”  
Nina stared at him, mouth agape. “You knew that was Shakira?” She put a hand to her chest, and this time, Inej was having a hard time discerning if she was actually about to cry or if it was all for show. “I’m so proud, Matti.”  
“Hey, don’t change the subject,” Jesper butted in. He held out his palm. “Fifty dollars.”  
“Whatever,” Nina mumbled, “the card was probably fake, anyways.”  
Matthias had taken the dice and rolled. He moved the pawn nine spaces. Him and Kaz exchanged a glance, confirming what they were both thinking- if you have the money, why not buy it, right?  
“And there, my good sirs, is New York Avenue, now property of Mr. Brekker and Mr. Helvar,” Jesper said in a tone that mocked a professional’s. He was obviously taking this very seriously, but Inej could tell he was having fun with it, and who was she to deny him that?  
“I think you’re seriously overestimating my dice rolling skills,” Wylan said to his teammate, after Jesper said something to him in a voice so low Inej couldn’t make it out.  
Jesper shook his head. “You’ve brought us only good luck, fortune, and property, I have faith you can do it again.”  
“At this point in the game, that description could be applied to any of us and still be accurate,” Kaz commented.  
Jesper made a sour face and pointed an accusatory finger at him. “If you make him lose his vibe and throw off our roll, I’ll-”  
“Vibe?” Inej cut off before he could finish his threat. The threats could be given out later in the game. Although, maybe it was preferable to get them out of the way now rather than later, when those threats had more truth in them. “Odd word choice,” she pointed out with a shrug.  
While they were talking, Wylan had rolled the dice, landing them on Go. “See! I told you you could do it!” Wylan raised his hand to meet Jesper’s palm. “Only fortune for team. . .” he trailed off.  
“Shit,” Nina swore. “We don’t have team names? How the hell did we not notice that earlier!”  
Matthias sighed. “Nina, the more we add to this game, the longer it’ll be.”  
“And do you have a problem with that?”  
“I do if you want to make a mess in my car and steal my afternoon.”  
Nina ignored his comment, looking to Inej. “What’s our team name?”  
Inej shrugged. She doubted she had too much leverage in the matter, knowing that as soon as Nina came up with a name, it would be final no matter how good Inej’s suggestion would be. Matthias rolled the dice.  
“Hey!” Nina protested, snatching them from the table. “Wait you turn!”  
“I was giving the dice to you, Zenik.”  
“Could’ve said so, then.”  
Matthias narrowed his eyes at her, for him, the equivalent of sticking out his tongue at her. She stuck her tongue out at him. She obviously loved the chaos.  
Nina rolled a five. “Our salary, please,” she said to Jesper as Inej moved the tiny car past the Go space. He gave it to her with a sour expression.  
“Wait, this is our first Monopoly!” Inej realized. They were the brown properties, and wouldn’t be worth much until they bought houses, but still.  
“Technically it’s not yours yet,” Matthias pointed out, like he always did whenever it came to Nina winning any of the game nights they’d had.  
“Well, is now!” Nina flashed the property card at him, holding it between two fingers. “Don’t see any of you with Monopolies.”  
Ignoring her, he picked up the dice and rolled; a six.  
“A second railroad,” Wylan commented, “too bad you can’t get railroad Monopolies.”  
“Railroads are still a pain in the ass to land on when they’ve got all four,” Jesper countered.  
Nina shrugged. “Guess you gotta catch them all.”  
“Pokémon!” Jesper finished the reference for her, and Inej thought she heard Kaz mumble something like, “Not this again.”  
“Still can’t believe you’re one of those Charmander people,” Nina said to him with a sick smile that told them her intentions- starting petty arguments.  
“I’m sorry?” Jesper held a hand to his ear and mocked a confused expression. “Sorry I didn’t hear you, did you say people with taste?”  
“No,” Nina countered, “I said people who obviously haven’t watched the show, because Squirtle with glasses.” Inej remembered Nina spamming the group chat a while ago with something along those lines.  
“Okay!” Wylan said, and Inej was grateful she wasn’t the one who had to break them up this time. “Our turn.”  
“Our turn indeed,” Jesper commented. Wylan threw the dice. On their way down the board, they hit Nina and Inej’s tiny car and knocked it to its side.  
“Hey!” Nina called.  
“Your piece was in the way.” Jesper said it with the defense of someone who, really didn’t believe in what they were saying, but just wanted to get under the other’s skin and play devil’s advocate.  
“Slander!” Nina gasped.  
“I don’t think you know the definition of slander,” Kaz added. He was awfully quiet, though Inej didn’t blame him.  
Nina glared at him and didn’t avert her eyes and she pulled her phone from her pocket. “Hey siri,” she said into the phone, though ‘siri’ didn’t say anything back. Nina frowned. “Hey siri.” Silence. Kaz coughed. Nina finally stared at her phone, put her lips so close they almost touched the speaker, and said sternly, “Hey siri.”  
The phone finally made a chime telling Nina that it was listening. Into the phone in a quite passive aggressive tone, she said, “What does the word slander mean?”  
It took a moment before a robotic Irish female voice came through her speaker. “Calling grandma.”  
“No, no, no, shit!” Nina cursed, fumbling to hang up on her phone. Jesper was laughing, and Inej held up a hand to hide her smirk. Going off the horrified expression Nina made, Inej assumed her grandma had picked up the phone, and it was too late to go back and disconnect the call.  
With wide eyes and mouth agape, Nina slid the phone beside her ear. She said in an overly cheery tone, “Hey, granny!”  
“Should I. . .” Wylan said softly, gesturing to the board. Matthias shrugged. Wylan picked up the dice and rolled.  
“You’re with who?” Nina stuttered abruptly, and Inej strained her ears to try and hear any bit she could of the conversation. “Can you put him on, please?” Inej and Jesper exchanged a glance and shrugged. At least this was better than her getting a call from Zoya or Genya, a call that she couldn’t hang up on, but, Inej knew Nina had probably used the ‘I’m breaking up, can’t hear you’ excuse more than she could feasibly get away with.  
“Lantsov,” Nina hissed into the phone as Jesper moved the tiny dog, for the first time, taking his turn silently. They had landed on income tax, and Jesper frowned, but didn’t say a word. Well, at least it wasn’t exactly Genya or Zoya, so Inej was only half wrong.  
“You know!” Nina threw her hands up. It was technically her and Inej’s turn, but she knew Nina would want to have a say, so they waited. “Hang. Up.” The sinister tone in her voice was gone in almost a second. “No, no! It’s- oh my god, granny, I’m so sorry you’re-”  
Nina hit the end call button and dropped her phone on the table. Inej cringed at the force she used, and was thankful when she had advised her to get a screen protector. “Siri needs to step it’s game up.”  
Jesper laughed. “What’s more important, I think, is that you have the Irish lady voice for your siri.”  
Nina crossed her arms, her eyes suggesting a challenge. “Since when were you in the Siri expertise field?”  
He scoffed. “Since male Australian was the way to go, which, oh wait, was always. Last time I checked there wasn’t even an Irish option!”  
“I personally like the female British,” Inej added her two cents to the conversation.  
“Female voices for the win!” Nina and Inej exchanged another high five.  
“Take your turn, Zenik,” Kaz interrupted. He tried not to show it, but Inej could tell he was already tired and done with them, ready to retreat back into his room and go to sleep at nine on a Saturday, which Jesper once said was psychopathic behavior.  
“I will not stand you talking to me and my partner like that-” Nina slid her arm through Inej’s so they were linked- “Inej is a valuable part to this team, and if I take my turn so does she.” Matthias shook his head as if to say, It was just a joke, but nothing, and simultaneously everything, was a joke with Nina Zenik.  
Jesper stage whispered behind a hand that did nothing to muffle his voice, “If we were watching a movie, this is where you’d chant, kiss, kiss, kiss.”  
“Hypocrite,” Nina muttered as she picked up the dice and rolled. A four. Inej cringed when they landed on the Reading Railroad, owned by the team that seemed to be the least enthusiastic about the game. Which, Inej had observed after Matthias had raised his eyebrows and smirked once he had realized they would owe them money. “Eager,” she mumbled when he snatched the paper bills from her with a little more satisfaction.  
Inej took this moment to think about the game, logically; right now they would have more money than any other point in the game, so it wouldn’t cost them too much to add houses to their two property Monopoly. Hey, that rhymed. She then proceeded to think about herself, logically; was this game causing her brain damage?  
Nina turned to her and smirked. “You had an idea, didn’t you?”  
“Not really. We should put houses on the brown properties-”  
“No,” Jesper cut off, holding out the word, “no, you totally shouldn’t do that.”  
Nina shrugged. “I mean, we have the money for it.” She frowned. “How much do houses cost?”  
“Last game I played, it was fifty for the first, one hundred for the second, then one fifty, then two hundred,” Inej said. Matthias dug through the pieces still in the box and pulled out a plastic bag, the insides a sea of green and red tiny plastic houses and hotels.  
Nina gasped. “Wait, are we buying a house together?”  
Inej laughed. “So we are.”  
“To be clear, we have to design it like an old Victorian home,” Nina said with a shudder, “modern homes.”  
Inej gave her a skeptical look. “What’s wrong with a home that reaps the benefits of modern technology?”  
Nina scoffed. “Are you kidding? I want to,” she cleared her throat and said in a spot on French accent, “let them eat cake and spend my days in big poofy dresses and fur capes.”  
“Okay,” Jesper said, “but who doesn’t?”  
“Corsets seem like a nightmare, though,” Inej added.  
“Corsets don’t have shit on me,” Nina refuted with a smirk. “Now, we want a house for each property, yeah?” When Inej nodded, Nina counted the paper bills under her breath and exchanged them for tiny plastic houses from Jesper. She handed one to Inej. “Shall we do the honors, my dear?”  
“We shall.” They placed the houses onto the brown strips on the top of the properties.  
“Can we skip the theatrics, next time?” Matthias grumbled as he took the dice.  
“Theatre is my art, dearest,” Nina said sweetly, “and who are you to damper my creativity?”  
Matthias and Kaz exchanged a glance, another confirming nod from Kaz, and North Carolina Avenue was theirs. “See how quick that was? Take notes, next time.”  
The room fell silent at Kaz’s jab. “You made a joke,” Nina said with a raised eyebrow. Kaz didn’t seem to hear him. At this point, it was unsurprising for any of them to make jabs at each other, though from Kaz, it always gained a reaction.  
“And now that he’s made his one attempt at humor for the year, he’s going back to being a cold-blooded gecko,” Jesper said with a small snort, handing the dice to Wylan. He rolled.  
“Not much of an insult,” Inej commented, “geckos are adorable.”  
“Fifty dollars,” Kaz said almost instantly when the small dog landed on the railroad.  
“Says who?” Jesper contested.  
“Says their property,” Wylan said.  
Jesper turned to him. “Again, are you on my team or not?”  
“Yes,” Wylan said in an annoyed tone.  
“Well, I’m on Team by Lorde, and it’s my turn,” Nina interjected.  
“And I thought Shakira references were good,” Jesper started, “please step your game up and only use Lorde references.”  
“But you were the one who said, quote, and neither do these hips,” Nina said smugly. Here we go.  
“I was taking a knock at myself, Zenik.”  
Nina chuckled. “Didn’t think that was possible, Fahey.”  
He waved a finger at her. “Don’t go pulling my last name.”  
“Then don’t go pulling mine. And it’s rude to point fingers.” Nina grabbed the dice and slammed her fist on the table before letting them roll. Pieces across the table shook from the impact.  
The dice had landed on the table as a five and a two, and Inej was about to point out they’d barely rolled and maybe Nina should do it again, but Nina grabbed the car and slammed it down on every spot on their way to the Water Works. “Our property,” she spat.  
“Why so aggressive?” Wylan commented.  
“Like I said, blood will be spilt if me and Inej don’t win.” And suddenly the harsh, competitive side of her was gone, and she was back to her diplomatic smile and smug expression. She crossed her arms and straightened her posture. “Kaz, dearest, it’s your turn.”  
Though it was Kaz she said it to, Matthias was the one to pick up the dice and take their turn. They landed on Go, and Jesper, begrudgingly, handed over their two hundred dollar salary. In return, Matthias handed him the dice, which was then handed to Wylan, who rolled and landed on a chance space.  
Jesper picked up the top card on the chance card pile, and read, “Your building and loan matures, collect one hundred fifty dollars from the bank.” He smiled as he placed the bills into his and Wylan’s pile.  
“Wait.” Inej put her hand on Nina’s arm as she picked up the dice. “Don’t roll.” She looked up to Matthias and Kaz. “Which railroads do you have?”  
Matthias squinted at their cards. “Reading and B+O.”  
Inej looked back to the board. “Jesper and Wylan landed on Pennsylvania, not B+O or Reading.”  
“Wait- you’re right!” Jesper whooped. “You bastards,” he spat to Matthias and Kaz.  
“That was, like, a turn ago,” Nina said in surprise. “You remembered?”  
“Of course she did-” Jesper gave Inej a pat on her back- “because where would we be without our darling Inej?”  
“The turn’s already been played out,” Kaz said, tapping his gloved fingers onto the table, “to ask us for a refund would change the course of the game.”  
“Arguably,” Jesper started, “giving you that fifty bucks changed the course of the game, so why didn’t it matter in that case but suddenly it does now?”  
“Arguably,” Kaz started to refute, but was cut off by Matthias.  
“There’s a chance card that says there was a bank error in your favor!” He was obviously stressed, Inej could tell, and she wasn’t sure if it was the game or the people he was playing it with. “Since when is this game fair? We keep the money, it’s fifty dollars, why does it matter? Why does any of this matter?”  
“Hey, don’t go all existential crisis on us now,” Jesper grumbled.  
“I honestly didn’t think you cared that much,” Nina said, mouth agape. “And, for the record, Matthias did drive us home, I think fifty dollars in fake money is fair.”  
“Fair?” Jesper yelped. “He literally just said that this game is never fair!”  
“Capitalism,” Wylan mumbled.  
“Capitalism, indeed,” Inej agreed.  
“Alrighty, moving on!” Nina chirped, making a grab for the dice before Jesper could make another argument for the fifty dollars. He looked slightly defeated, which, for him, was very concerning. Inej trusted him not to get too hung up over a board game, but that was very in-character for Jesper.  
Her attention was brought back to the game from the sound of the dice hitting the board; Nina had rolled an eight for them.  
“Free parking?” Nina said skeptically. A collective groan sounded from across the table, and she quickly added, “Not this again.”  
“Yes, let’s not,” Matthias agreed, taking the dice into his own hands.  
“Chance card, chance card,” Nina began to chant, and Jesper joined in. Inej, herself, added a drumroll for extra effect.  
Kaz pulled the top card from the pile. “You have been elected chairman of the board,” he read, “pay each player fifty dollars-”  
“That’s! Called! Revenge, bitch!” Jesper bellowed, clapping at the end of each word. “We were destined to have those fifty dollars.”  
“Apparently so,” Kaz grumbled so quietly, Inej almost didn’t hear him.  
“Sorry?” Just as he did when Nina had brought up Pokémon, Jesper cupped a hand to his ear, and in the same tone as he had taunted Nina with, he said, “What was that? You’re accepting defeat?”  
“What was that expression?” Wylan asked. “Something about a bear?”  
“Don’t poke a sleeping bear?” Inej suggested.  
“Yes! Don’t poke a sleeping bear.” He frowned. “But, bear sounds kind of weird.”  
“Say don’t poke a sleeping Kaz,” Jesper mused nonchalantly, “and the meaning’s still there.”  
“Good,” Kaz agreed. “I need my beauty sleep.”  
Nina scoffed. “And so do I, but someone was blasting Queen at ungodly hours.” Her glare fell on Jesper.  
He laughed. “You were doing the same with Brittney just a couple nights ago!”  
“Excuse you, Brittney Spears is the pop goddess, and deserves worship.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and smirked. “So do I.”  
Wylan rolled the dice, and, with an unfortunate irony, landed on one of Kaz and Matthias’ railroads, costing him and Jesper the fifty dollars Jesper had been so upset about.  
“Are you-” Jesper started, mouth hanging agape, but Nina cut him off with loud snickering.  
“Oh, that’s priceless,” she said sweetly.  
“Well?” Kaz stuck his hand out, motioning for Jesper to hand over the paper bills by bending his fingers.  
“Is that sass?” Jesper asked while, begrudgingly, handing over the money.  
“If you want it to be,” Kaz said.  
“The hell is that supposed to mean?” Nina asked. She turned to Inej. She shrugged. To be quite honest, Kaz was a lot of bark and no bite to Inej, and sometimes she had to force herself not to roll her eyes at the brooding tone he took with a lot of their conversations.  
Inej grabbed the dice and rolled. Eleven.  
“Wait, that’s a green property, right?” Nina asked.  
“Yep,” Inej confirmed as their car rounded the corner and just barely passed the go to jail space.  
Nina rubbed her hands. “This is when things start to get heated.”  
“They got heated a while ago,” Wylan claimed.  
“He’s got a point,” Jesper amended.  
“And will continue to get heated-” Nina slung her arm over Inej’s shoulder, despite the chairs they were sitting in making it difficult for the gesture to be measured in full- “as long as Inej and I are in the game.”  
Jesper mimicked the gesture with his own teammate. “It’s never over until it’s over.” Inej smiled.  
Matthias and Kaz exchanged a glance as Jesper and Nina exchanged the funds for her and Inej’s new, green, property. “Should we?” Matthias started, but, unsurprisingly, Matthias shook his head.  
“C’mon,” Jesper sighed. “Team bonding? It’s going to be a while more before this ends.”  
“Anywho,” Matthias said, swiftly dodging a future, probably very awkward, hug and taking his turn in the same swoop. He rolled double fours.  
“Lucky bastard,” Jesper swore under his breath.  
When Inej had counted out what eight spaces meant for Matthias and Kaz she let out a small groan. When Matthias had moved the piece, Jesper made a similar noise and Nina yelled, “Three railroads? This game is truly devious.” They made their second roll.  
“Alright, don’t land on our property and owe us money, just skip to Go, alright,” Jesper fumed as he slapped the two hundred dollar salary on Matthias and Kaz’s side of the table. At this point, all food and drink had been forgotten. Inej was surprised at how much this game had her attention, but was unsurprised how much this game seemed to hold Jesper and Nina’s attention. Wylan picked up the dice and rolled.  
“Double sixes!” Nina threw her hands up. “Are you kidding me?” However, the amount of rage Nina was at currently was very tame in comparison to the second the tiny dog landed on Park Place. She put her head in her hands and screamed. Not a full on scream, but very close, and very full of emotion. Inej sighed. Her heart hurt, though the two of them weren’t in a bad spot themselves.  
“Yes!” Jesper whooped. He and Wylan exchanged a high five. Right now, Wylan seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the game, which, Inej was glad someone was. “Karma is a bitch.”  
“What did I do wrong?” Nina cried. “What did I do to deserve this?”  
“Karma thinks Charmander is the superior of the three, which Karma isn’t wrong about, so Karma punished as they saw fit,” Jesper taunted. He turned to his teammate. “What do you say? Is it time for our glorious second roll?”  
“This game is truly, truly, cruel,” Inej observed, though the words had been said several times around the table. Luckily for Inej and Nina, but especially lucky for Kaz and Matthias, Jepser and Wylan’s second turn wasn’t as lucky, they ended up paying one hundred dollars to Kaz and Matthias for their three railroads.  
Jesper laughed. “Hey, who’re the ones without monopolies now?”  
Nina smirked as she grabbed the dice and rolled a six. When Inej moved the pawn six spaces, her jaw dropped once she saw they had landed on Boardwalk.  
“Don’t worry,” Inej reassured her, “it’s nothing until they put houses there- then it’s a nightmare.”  
“Thirty five dollars, please.” Jesper held out his hand for the money.  
“Thirty five dollars isn’t nothing!” Nina protested.  
Inej shrugged. “Thirty five dollars is like, what, five percent of our bank?”  
Jesper gaped at her. “You did that math that fast?” he said.  
“It was a guess. Math is hard,” she sighed.  
“Truer words have never been spoken.” This was from Wylan. This time, he grabbed the money before Jesper could say another word. Smart move, Inej agreed.  
It was Kaz and Matthias’ turn now, and they rolled an eight. They landed on Vermont Avenue which, unfortunately for them, was property of Jesper and Wylan.  
Not so unfortunately, the price was; “Six dollars,” Jesper uttered. He sucked in a breath. “Six dollars can buy you a lot of things! Something from an overpriced vending machine, a bottle of water-”  
“A Shakira and a Brittney song,” Nina pointed out, not looking up from her phone. Inej nudged her. She looked up at her, mouthed a sorry, typed a final word and slipped the phone back in her pocket.  
Jesper waved a hand towards her. “A Shakira and a Brittney song,” he repeated.  
“Well, if you’re going to buy a water,” Matthias started, handing over the bills, “make sure to buy me one.”  
Nina snickered. “Why? You’re thirsty?”  
Matthias scoffed. “No. I want an excuse to get out of here.”  
“Well,” Jesper started, which earned a small groan from Wylan, “you said you wanted me to get the water-”  
“Okay!” Wylan interjected once again, grabbing the dice and rolling before Jesper could call anyone else out on a technicality.  
“Just visiting,” Jesper read. He smiled. “We made bank this turn!” He held out his hand for yet another high five and Wylan took the bait.  
“If you count. . .” Wylan trailed off, doing the math in his head, “forty one dollars as bank, then sure.”  
“I do,” his teammate said smugly, “every penny counts.”  
“Please-” Nina picked up the dice as she made the joke- “if there are ever pennies in this game, please let me know, and hand them all over.”  
“I’m not giving you a cent,” Jesper said, “I need them all to save up for a Shakira album.”  
Matthias threw up his hands. “Can we stop acting like Shakira is the musician?”  
“Yeah,” Nina agreed sarcastically, “it’s obviously Brittney Spears and that’s a fact.”  
“So we’re not going to mention Lorde?” Jesper scoffed. “Melodrama should’ve won that Grammy, we all know that.”  
“Lorde is for sad bitches,” Nina said sweetly, “Brittney is for bad bitches.”  
“She’s got a point,” Inej said, though her voice was lost by Matthias’ next retort.  
“I refuse to listen to anything that came after the 2000s!”  
Jesper side eyed him. “I saw Fergalicious on your playlist, okay, don’t come talking to me about what real music is.”  
Matthias gave him a similar expression. “You stalk my Spotify?”  
“Your Spotify is the sole way to tell if someone is truly deserving of your time and attention! So yes, and might I add, I shamelessly stalk your Spotify.”  
Nina shook her head solemnly. “I still can’t believe you just dissed Fergalicious like that. Jesper, I thought we were friends.”  
“If you can’t like Shakira, Brittney, or Lorde, you have no right to listen to a masterpiece like Fergalicious,” Jesper amended, supposedly to redeem himself in Nina’s eyes.  
Just to stir the pot, Inej added, “The last time we were in a car together, Jes, you skipped Fergalicious, talking about how you never wanted to hear that song again.”  
Nina made a whimpering noise, like she was physically hurt by his answer. “Now we have to crush you. I feel like I couldn’t live with myself knowing I passed up that opportunity.”  
“But Nina! We’re barbz together,” Jesper said, holding his chest in, of course, fake offense.  
Nina nodded. “Yes. Queen Nicki is a neutral ground.”  
“Thank the saints,” Matthias grumbled, “the less times you fight the better.”  
“Agreed,” Kaz said.  
“What do you think?” Inej asked Nina. “We invest in a second house for the browns?”  
Nina smiled. “I would want nothing more, my lady.”  
Inej rolled the dice while Nina exchanged their money for two houses from Jesper. Lucky for them, she landed on Baltic Avenue.  
“How much is that for rent, now?” Wylan asked.  
Inej checked their cards. “For Mediterranean, thirty, for Baltic, sixty.”  
Jesper scoffed. “Pathetic.”  
“Just wait and see until we get a hotel,” Nina said smugly. “You’ll be sorry.”  
“I’m quaking,” Jesper deadpanned.  
Matthias rolled; a three. He moved the pawn accordingly to the last pink property, before looking to Kaz. Wordlessly, Kaz nodded, and in the same fashion, Matthias handed Jesper the money.  
“How do you- what just happened?” Nina asked.  
Wylan shrugged. “Probably telepathy.”  
Nina frowned. “Why don’t me and Inej have a telepathic connection?”  
“That’d make us too powerful,” Inej added. Nina smiled and nodded, agreeing with her, satisfied with the compliment. Wylan rolled.  
“We’ll take Virginia Avenue,” Jesper said, rubbing his hands together, “though it’s a shame we have to be neighbors.” He gestured to Kaz and Matthias. “The pink properties should be a positive place.” He set the money for the property in the neat piles that were the bank.  
“Who’s saying they aren’t?” Matthias challenged.  
“Let’s be honest,” Nina interjected, “Kaz is a threat to a lot of things- happiness and positivity included.”  
“I’ll be a threat to you if you don’t can it, Zenik,” Kaz said.  
“I’m already a threat to you, Brekker,” she mocked, “I don’t think I need to put you higher on my kill list, do I?”  
“Hold up- kill list?” Inej asked, genuinely concerned.  
Nina shrugged. “It could be just an Instagram account hackage, I just couldn’t think of a word that sounded as menacing as kill.”  
“Valid,” Jesper said, as Inej rolled the dice. Eight. In eight spaces was the very property Kaz and Matthias had bought their last turn.  
Nina groaned. “Seriously? Honestly, I would much rather pay Jesper and Wylan for that one than my enemies.”  
Jesper looked over to her, eyes alight. “We’re not your enemies?”  
“Oh no, you still very much are, though if it came between the two of you, I would much rather take down Kaz and Matthias over here.”  
Jesper nodded. “I’ll still take that as a compliment.”  
“As you should,” Inej said, passing over the ten dollars to Kaz and Matthias.  
Nina stuck out her tongue. “Ten dollars. Hah!”  
“We’re doing pretty good on money,” Inej added, having counted out, generally, how each of them were doing financially; her and Nina with about seven hundred fifty, Kaz and Matthias with about five hundred fifty, and Jesper and Wylan with roughly the same as Kaz and Matthias.  
Nina and Inej exchanged a high five as Matthias picked up the dice. He rolled double threes, and that took him to a chance card.  
“You have won a crossword competition; receive one hundred dollars from the bank,” he read. As soon as he landed on Atlantic Avenue which, lucky for them, they owned, Jesper scooped up the dice from the table and handed them to his teammate, who rolled a five. They landed on New York Avenue, which-  
“You guys own that?” Jesper asked Kaz and Matthias in disbelief.  
Inej could swear she saw a smile on Kaz’s face as he held out his hand for the-  
“Sixteen dollars,” Matthias read from the property card.  
Jesper let out a long sigh before relinquishing the money.  
Nina frowned. “How come they get to make so much money this turn?”  
Matthias frowned back. “We made one hundred and twenty six dollars exactly.”  
“One would have to be pretty poor to think that’s, as you so eloquently put it, so much money.”  
Everyone turned to Kaz.  
“Was that sass from you, Brekker?” Nina asked with a wide grin. Kaz chose not to comment.  
“Who knew,” Jesper said, shaking his head, “not only does this game break friendships, it breaks people.”  
“I think you mean character,” Inej pointed out, “if Kaz was truly broken, he’d finally give into Nina and download any social media platform.”  
“As always, dear Inej, you are correct,” Jesper said to Inej, who rolled the dice.  
“Nine,” Nina said in response to the number. “So, your mental age?”  
“You know she’s gone competitive when she throws shade out of nowhere,” Wylan said.  
Inej moved the pawn for them. “Free parking. Agreed, no debate.” Inej passed the dice to Matthias.  
The little top hat rounded the corner with the go to jail square, and landed on the very last green property.  
“Not the green properties!” Nina protested. “They’re second best, only to the dark blues.”  
“What do you want me to do about it?” Matthias asked. “Skip the property?”  
Nina paused. “Well, yes.”  
“Too bad.”  
He handed Jesper the money, who handed back the property card in exchange.  
“I wouldn’t worry,” Inej reassured her, “they don’t have any monopolies, and aren’t in a good place to get one.”  
“But they have the railroads!” Nina half wailed.  
“But do they have Baltic and Mediterranean?” This, she and Nina both knew, Nina couldn’t fight her on- it was the same mentality she had used just earlier in the game.  
“No, they don’t,” Nina sighed.  
“Good thinking- using her own strategies against her,” Jesper said, “I’d better take notes.”  
Nina frowned. “Inej is not against me!” She threw her arm around Inej’s shoulders, though the chairs made it difficult for them to lean against each other. “We’re on a team.”  
“Okay!” Wylan cut in, every time he said it, becoming more of a plea of peace between the table.  
He took his turn, rolling a ten and moving the according spaces. “Marvin Gardens!” Jesper called, “soon to be our property.” He held his chin up in triumph.  
“You know for it to actually be our property we have to pay for it, right?” Wylan pointed out, after the room had been silent and Jesper had only held his head up high.  
“Well,” Jesper countered, “I’m really only paying myself, here.”  
“One; we. We’re on a team together. Two; I sincerely hope you’re not paying yourself.”  
“But I am the bank!” Jesper protested.  
“You are acting as the banker,” Kaz corrected him, “the income that you receive does not go to you, specifically.”  
Jesper shook his head. “I should at least get some of the profits and get paid, right?”  
Nina scoffed. “For exchanging and counting paper bills? I don’t think so,” she said, taking the dice and rolling. The tiny race car landed on the Water Works, costing Nina and Inej no money that turn.  
Matthias was next, rolling double threes. At this point, no one reacted, not even Nina and Jesper, which Inej was surprised by. They did, however, land on go, so Jesper handed them two hundred dollars. He then rolled a five, landing on a railroad they owned.  
Wylan took the dice, rolling for his team. More doubles, this time, double fives.  
Inej heard Nina grumble beside her, “So everyone’s getting doubles today.” It was more preferable to have a grumbly Nina then an aggressively yelling Nina, so Inej took this as a good sign things were calming down. Although, whether they lost or won, Nina would have a dramatic reaction.  
On their second roll, Jesper and Wylan landed on Oriental Avenue which, after a quick exchange of nods and paper money, was their property.  
“This is nice,” Inej commented. “I definitely prefer the quiet parts of this game.”  
“I think you’re only jinxing it,” Matthias said. “Now they’re going to want to be loud, just for the sake of spiteing you.”  
Nina turned to Inej, anger in her eyes. “If anyone tries to spite you, they go through me first, okay?” Inej gave a hesitant nod.  
“Anywho,” Nina said after a moment of silence, shifting the subjects from threats to houses- “I think it’s time we buy another round of houses for our browns, yeah?”  
Inej nodded. “While we have the money, we may as well spend it,” she said with a shrug as Nina passed over the money to Jesper in exchange for another two houses.  
“Oh hey!” Nina called after rolling a twelve. “Not only doubles, but we get to pass go!” And so they did, collecting their salary, and taking another roll- which spat them out on Baltic Avenue, where there were freshly three plastic green houses.  
Matthias took his turn, rolling a three for his team, and landing on one of Jesper and Wylan’s light blue properties. He gave them the six dollars Jesper had told him was the rent without a word.  
Wylan rolled. One dice said a five, another a one. They landed on the Water Works.  
“How exactly do these work?” he asked.  
Inej picked up the card and skimmed it. “Roll two dice- whatever the player rolls, times ten, is the amount, in dollars, that is owed for the rent,” she read aloud.  
“This is the only time I’m gonna say this but, please roll a low number,” Jesper said, crossing his fingers.  
“Wait,” Nina started when the dice were rolled, “a three, so thirty dollars?”  
“That’s not half bad,” Wylan said while Jesper handed over the money.  
“Not bad at all,” Jesper agreed.  
“Wait,” Inej cut in as Nina picked up the dice. “How much money does everyone have? Out of curiosity.”  
Nina nodded approvingly. “Smart,” she said. “Scoping out the competition so we can crush our enemies.”  
“Five hundred seventy,” Kaz said, placing down the last dollar bill.  
“Three thirty six,” Jesper said not long after.  
“Alright,” Inej said with a nod.  
“You aren’t going to tell us your total?” Matthias pointed out.  
“Sure,” Nina said, always taking everything as a challenge. “I think we have more.” To be sure, she still counted their total out dollar by dollar, coming to a total of; “Six hundred sixty five.”  
“You two are killing it! What’s your secret?” Jesper asked.  
Nina turned to him. “What- for my clear skin? Or thick hair?”  
“Get over yourself, Zenik,” Matthias grumbled.  
“I’d rather not,” Nina retorted while rolling double sixes. They ended up having to pay one hundred dollars to Kaz and Matthias, but this didn’t seem to be worth a snarky remark from Nina.  
Matthia rolled for his team, rolling an eleven, which was enough to boost the tiny top hat around the corner and into the red properties. He and Kaz then, with a mutually exchanged nod, purchased Kentucky Avenue.  
“Damn it,” Nina swore. Inej hadn’t been paying attention to the red properties. She realized she and Nina owned the first two, and Kaz and Matthias had quickly shut down their chances of getting a Monopoly.  
“I’d be willing to make a trade,” Kaz offered, “if you would give us something valuable in return.”  
Nina frowned and turned to Inej. “What would be valuable to them?” she asked.  
Inej shrugged. “More importantly,” she said, “are we actually willing to trade away whatever they want for this Monopoly?”  
“And,” Nina added. “They’re willing to give us a Monopoly. Which usually doesn’t happen unless both parties get Monopolies from the trade.” Inej frowned. So the plot thickens, she thought, and almost chided herself for how seriously she was taking this.  
“Can’t you only trade when it’s your turn?” Jesper interjected. “You-” he gestured to Kaz and Matthias- “just went, so it’s our turn. Talk business once it’s your turn.” His and Wylan’s turn was uneventful, a dice roll to go, and a collected two hundred dollars to add to their bank.  
“Alright,” Nina said, as soon as Wylan moved the tiny dog onto the go space. “So, what do you want? Assuming, of course, you’d give up Kentucky to us.”  
Matthis and Kaz exchanged a glance. “Could I have a moment alone to discuss this trade with my partner?” Matthias said.  
Nina scoffed. “No need to get so formal. Whatever you need to say to him, you can say right here.”  
Jesper raised his eyebrow. “Unless this is some secret love confession or something?”  
“Especially if it’s some sort of secret love confession,” Nina amended, “because I’d love and have to see that.”  
Matthis raised a brow. “It’s hard to see what anyone could see in him,” he said, jabbing his thumb at Kaz.  
“Shade!” Nina cooed, drawing out the A.  
“Go ahead, I guess,” Inej said, and Kaz and Matthias actually left the room, and Inej swore she saw Kaz slam the door shut.  
“It’s quite dramatic of them, isn’t it?” Jesper asked.  
Nina nodded. “Usually the dramatics come from your-” she wagged a finger at Jesper- “area of the table.”  
Jesper scoffed. “Please, we all know you’re the real drama queen.”  
“Why thank you, my lord,” Nina joked. She held out her fist for a fistbump, but as they were sitting on opposite sides of the table, it was more of an air-fistbumb.  
“We propose a trade,” Kaz announced, Matthias following inside behind him.  
Inej and Nina exchanged a glance. Nina’s smile was unmistakable. “And what would that be?” Nina asked, her voice the consistency of honey.  
“We will give you Kentucky Avenue for your Pacific Avenue,” Matthias proposed as he and his teammate took their seats. It wasn’t a horrible trade for either party. Both pairs would gain a Monopoly, though Matthias and Kaz would have a leg up, because said Monopoly had the second highest rent on the entire board. However, Nina and Inej were in a better spot overall, and giving them a Monopoly in exchange for one couldn’t hurt too bad. Right?  
Nina seemed to be going through a similar thought process, because she turned to Inej with a glance that asked the question on both of their minds. Inej nodded.  
“We will accept your offer, o gracious enemies,” Nina said, turning to Kaz and Matthias, all diplomacy.  
“Enemies? A bit extreme, don’t you think?” Inej commented.  
“No, Extreme was the bad 90s rock band I showed you last summer,” Jesper corrected. His words brought back a memory to Inej; lots of fighting over the aux cord and shotgun in his car and McDonald’s every day for lunch. It wasn’t amazing for their health.  
Nina held out a hand for a handshake between her and Matthias, who met her hand in the middle, though it was a stretch for both of them and she had to lean on the edge of her seat.  
Not soon after cards were traded, and a high five between Inej and Nina. “Second Monopoly of the game, look at us,” Inej said.  
“I can’t, unless you’ve got a mirror,” Nina retorted. “Let’s move on, shall we?” She took the dice and rolled; a three, taking her and Inej’s tiny car to the Water Works.  
“We can still buy houses, right?” Inej said, cutting Matthias off as he picked up the dice.  
Wylan shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”  
“Why don’t we just get houses for the reds while we have the money, right?” Inej said to Nina.  
Nina shrugged. “Guess you’re right. One house for each, please,” she said to Jesper. They exchanged money and plastic houses, and now, Inej thought, she and Nina were the biggest threat on the board right now. Yes Jesper and Wylan had Boardwalk and Park Place, but those were two powerful spots out of their other weaker ones, and Inej and Nina had the most scattered properties, which made for a good steady income.  
Promptly after their trade, Matthias and Kaz had landed on Pacific Avenue. Nina sighed. “And of course now they land on our property once it’s out of our grasps.”  
“It has to feel better that you gave away the property willingly though, right?” Wylan said.  
Nina shook her head. “It’s almost worse this way. Knowing we could’ve done something to prevent it.”  
Inej shrugged. “How would we know they would’ve landed on it?”  
Nina returned the gesture. “Witchcraft, I guess.”  
“Or rigging the dice,” Matthias pointed out.  
Kaz glared at him. “Don’t give them any ideas.”  
“What, about the witchcraft or rigging the dice?” Nina joked. “Because I’m honestly down for either.”  
“I think, personally, rigging the dice would be easier,” Inej said and Jesper and Wylan started their turn. They rolled a six, placing them on their very own light blue properties.  
“Hey wait,” Jesper started, “we should have houses here by now, yeah?”  
Wylan shrugged. “I didn’t even realize we had a monopoly.”  
“We have the money to waste, anyways,” Jesper said while counting out the bills.  
“Look at us,” Nina commented, “all having monopolies!”  
“I hope that this late in the game we’d all have at least one,” Matthias countered.  
“If we didn’t all have our fair share of them, the game would be going either terribly well or terribly bad,” Inej said, “depending on the party.”  
“Well, at the moment, we’re having a pizza and board game party,” Nina said, “so make with that what you will.”  
Jesper scoffed. “It’s not a real party.” He gestured a hand to the room around them. “I mean, where’s the music?”  
“All Nina played in the car earlier today was Nicki Minaj,” Matthias groaned, “we are not doing this again.”  
“Don’t you dare say anything against queen Nicki,” Nina warned.  
“Let’s not have the music debate again,” Inej said, bringing the attention back to the game as she rolled the dice. Taking their turn meant paying Kaz and Matthias for their new green monopoly. The room was silent as the exchange was made, and Inej took in every second, knowing they were bound to get into more petty arguments before one of them went bankrupt.  
After Kaz and Matthias went, landing on go and earning the two hundred dollar salary, Jesper and Wylan followed suit, taking their turn.  
“Doubles!” Jesper whooped.  
“And sixes too,” Inej said, “good for you two.” It sounded sarcastic on paper, so Inej tried to pack in as much sincerity as she could, though that only made it come out with more snark.  
On their way around the board, they bought Tennessee Avenue with a mutual nod, and landed on one of their yellow properties. “Here come the greens,” Jesper sighed.  
Nina shrugged. “It’s three spaces- what are the odds, right?”  
Jesper narrowed his eyes at her. “That sounds awfully like something that will jinx our next turn.”  
“The only one jinxing your turn is you two,” Nina countered as she rolled.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“What you make it out to mean,” she said, her confidence unwavering, though she clearly didn’t have a snarky response for this one.  
From across the table, Matthias let out a long sigh as Inej moved her and Nina’s pawn.  
“Why the sigh, Helvar?” Nina teased. “Accepting inevitable defeat?”  
“If we buy this, we’ve taken the last railroad from them,” Inej said for him.  
“Oh. So we’re obviously buying it and fucking him over,” Nina said simply.  
“I’d like to point out that you’re also fucking Kaz over with this move,” Jesper added. When Kaz shot him a glare, he added, “Someone has to do it, our lovely Nina and Inej are just so kindly offering.”  
Inej frowned. “We don’t have too much money right now, is it really a good idea to blow two hundred of it on a railroad?” she asked her teammate as she finished counting the bills. They had a total of three hundred eighty dollars.  
Nina turned to her. “I think it’s worth it, honestly. Purely for spite. And anyways, go is right around the corner.”  
“True.” Inej handed over the money to Jesper in exchange for the property card.  
“For the record,” Nina stated, “we will only be trading away the railroad for something extremely beneficial for us.”  
“I don’t think we should trade it away at all. We’re in a good spot.”  
Matthias and Kaz were next, and landed on their earliest railroad. “We may as well put houses on the green properties,” Kaz said, more of a statement than a suggestion or question, but Matthias only shrugged and handed over money.  
“I’m starting to doubt the chances of us seeing a love confession anytime soon,” Nina said, “they don’t seem like a very happy couple.” Inej snorted.  
“It’s a shame,” Jesper sighed with a shake of his head. Neither Matthias nor Kaz seemed to react. Jesper and Wylan took their turn, using the two hundred dollar salary from go to buy houses for Boardwalk and Park Place.  
“I’m surprised we haven’t lost to Boardwalk yet,” Inej said, “we’ve been around the board enough times for it to happen.”  
“It’s not really the property itself,” Wylan pointed out, “it’s dependent on how many houses are on there.”  
“How much is rent for three houses, anyways?” she asked.  
Jesper looked at the car and his eyebrows shot up. “Fourteen hundred.” Nina let out a low whistle and Inej felt her heart sink in her chest.  
“So, correct me if I’m wrong,” Nina started, “we’d essentially have to mortgage everything we own to even keep playing, which would block off our cash flow other than go and chance cards, which are only an option if we can roll around the big properties?”  
Silence fell upon the room. “Pretty much,” Matthias said simply.  
“This game is fucking cruel.”  
“Pretty much,” he repeated.  
“This is a family game. How the hell do five year olds enjoy this?” Jesper crossed his arms.  
“How does anyone enjoy this?” Nina added.  
Inej raised an eyebrow. “Don’t lie to us like that. You definitely enjoy the chaos.”  
Nina huffed. “I do, but only when the chaos goes my way, or in this case, our way. And I hate it when you’re right.”  
“You must have a pretty hateful life, then,” Jesper said, throwing a wink Inej’s way. She smiled and winked back.  
Ignoring him, Nina picked up the dice. Inej could’ve sworn she’d heard Nina mumble, “Please don’t be Boardwalk, please don’t be Boardwalk,” as she shook the dice in her hands. Luckily for them, it was just one space past Boardwalk.  
“I’m honestly kind of glad,” Jesper said, handing over the two hundred dollar salary to Nina and Inej, “if you landed on Boardwalk the game would basically be over.”  
“Would that really be such a bad thing?” Matthias asked.  
“Wait, are we playing until all but two of us go bankrupt or until one of us go bankrupt?” Wylan asked.  
“For all of our sakes, can we agree on until one of us goes bankrupt?” Inej offered, which seemed to garner mutual nods across the table. “This game is taking longer than I thought it would already.”  
Nina scoffed. “Trust me, I’ve seen longer.”  
“It’s almost like you said ‘seen’ instead of ‘played’ because you wanted Jesper to say that’s what she said,” Matthias snapped almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth.  
Jesper placed a hand over his heart. “Aw, you were thinking of me?”  
Nina flashed him a wink. “Always.” Kaz whispered something in a hushed tone to Matthias. She raised an eyebrow. “Are we or are we not getting a love confession out of this?”  
“I would like to confess my love to silence,” Inej said promptly, “it truly makes a difference after all the bickering.”  
“But what’s a game night without some friendly bickering?” Jesper said.  
“He’s not wrong,” Nina sang in a high pitched voice.  
“I think that’s the first time you two have agreed this entire game,” Matthias huffed.  
Nina shook her head, pursing her lips. “No, I think we agreed that you and Kaz are endgame and deserve an epic love story.”  
“Agreed.”  
“What he whispered to me had nothing to do of our personal relationship,” Matthias snapped, “and everything with the fact that we would like to buy houses for each of the green properties.”  
“Buying houses together? Aww, they grow up so fast.” Nina faked wiping a tear from her eye, for good measure. Matthias and Kaz both ignored the joke, trading money as if she wasn’t in the room. It was a lot easier to not engage than getting in a verbal battle, Matthias must’ve learned, and for all of their sakes, the smoother the better. Though Inej knew the road to victory was only going to get a lot rockier. Soon, money was exchanged and houses were placed.  
Next, Jesper and Wylan took their turn. Dice were rolled, and they ended up at-  
“Your railroad! Why, now?” Jesper whined.  
Nina let out a low whistle. “That’s not very helpful for you two, is it.”  
Matthias shook his head before Jesper or Wylan could get a word out. “One hundred dollars for us; which is, what looks like, about a third of your total savings.”  
Inej shrugged. “It could be worse- you still have some money to get by. And anyways, me and Nina are coming up on your light blues.”  
“It’s Monopoly- it could always get worse,” Kaz grumbled.  
“We’re playing with Kaz- it could always get worse,” Jesper retorted.  
“Inej’s right,” Wylan said, speaking up for, she noticed, the first time in a while. “At this point, the stakes of the game can change at any moment and no one’s at a clear disadvantage.”  
Nina snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “A positive outlook. That’s what we’re striving for here.” She paused. “And, well, of course, to win.” Jesper handed over the money with a long sigh.  
Nina, Inej, Kaz and Matthias’ turns all went swiftly and easily- both parties landing on their own properties. Wylan’s roll landed them on something rare at this point in the game- an unowned property. Inej made a reach for the dice, knowing they wouldn’t dare waste almost all of their money on a property this late in the game, until Jesper cut her off with a “Wait.” She looked up at him, expectant for elaboration.  
Wylan looked at his teammate, confused. “Why would we buy that? We only have one of the same color and Kaz and Matthias have the other.”  
“Don’t you see?” Jesper said before cupping his hand, blocking his words from the rest of the table, and whispering something. The confusion didn’t leave Wylan’s face.  
“I- guess?” He was obviously hesitant.  
“We have to trust luck will take care of us until we can- y’know-” Jesper said, making his case.  
Nina snorted and whispered to Inej, “That’s a horrible idea.”  
Inej whispered back, “Good thing all of our decisions have been logical.”  
“We can hear you whispering,” Matthias said, crossing his arms.  
“Can you hear what I’m saying? No? Good, that’s the point of whispering.”  
“Nina dear, I would never dare lie to you, but your comebacks are starting to dry up,” Inej said.  
“The only thing seeming to dry up here is the competition,” Nina said smugly. “I mean seriously- having to coerce your teammate into something? Couldn’t be me.” She and Inej exchanged another high five.  
After some more back and forth between the two of them that was lost by Inej and Nina’s conversation, Wylan finally surrendered. “Fine. Let’s just hope this isn’t the mistake that loses us the game.”  
“So what do you both have now?” Nina asked. “In terms of money.”  
Jesper counted the bills after grabbing the property card from the bank. There was only one unowned property left on the board, Inej realized, and her stomach twisted. “Yikes. Forty six.”  
Nina didn’t respond and kept her expression neutral as she picked up the dice. She rolled another three; second in a row, for the two of them. Luckily for Jesper and Wylan, they quickly got some more money in their pockets, as now Inej and Nina owed them thirty dollars for Oriental Avenue.  
“That’s- something to help, right?” Inej pointed out.  
“It is indeed,” Jesper said, taking the paper bills from her.  
Kaz and Matthias took their turn next, rolling a five and landing on Illinois Avenue and oweing a sum of one hundred dollars to Nina and Inej.  
“Remember when a hundred dollars could be spared and that wasn’t nearly all of your savings?” Jesper sighed. “Those were the good old days.”  
Inej narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know what it is, but something’s telling me you regret your purchase.”  
Jesper checked his nails with fake interest. “I can’t say that I do.” After a moment, he added, “At least, not yet.” After the dice were rolled and the tiny dog was moved, Jesper picked the top card from the chance pile and read, “Get out of jail free. Hell. Yeah.”  
“Honestly, though,” Wylan said, “getting in jail right now would be a dream. We wouldn’t have any chance of losing money.”  
“True,” Jesper amended.  
“Could we trade in jail?” Wylan asked, which earned a grin from his teammate.  
“Ohh, so that’s what that was about,” Nina said.  
Inej shrugged. “Hypothetically, yes?”  
When no one objected to her suggestion, she took the dice from the table and rolled. A five- landing her on St. Charles Avenue. Ten dollars to Kaz and Matthias. Considering she and Nina had more money than both the other teams combined, it was nothing to complain about.  
Matthias and Kaz were not so lucky, their dice roll sending them right to jail.  
“So they finally caught the illustrious Dirtyhands,” Nina said with a proud shake of her head.  
“What was that joke from Pirates of the Caribbean?” Jesper asked, looking to Inej for an answer. It was their movie night from three months ago, and Inej wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to reference.  
“Remember this as the day you almost caught Jack Sparrow?” As soon as Inej said it, Jesper snapped his fingers.  
“That’s the one.”  
“I thought it was Remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow,” Matthias offered.  
Nina turned to him. “Since when did you do Disney?”  
“Does Pirates of the Caribbean technically count as Disney?” Wylan asked.  
Jesper shrugged. “If it’s on Disney Plus, it’s on Disney Plus.”  
“So, let us remember this as the day we caught Captain Dirtyhands in a board game about capitalism before he inevitably pays his way out of jail or rolls doubles, basically,” Nina said simply.  
The tiny dog was quickly moved to go as Jesper drew a chance card and read, “Advance to go, collect two hundred- yes!” That gave them some pocket change.  
At this point, they were all doing the best they could to wrap up the game as soon as possible, so when Nina rolled the dice and landed her and Inej on free parking, it was done so without comment, and Nina counted the spaces in her head instead on tapping each with the pawn on her way around the board.  
Wylan turned to Jesper. “Should we. . .?”  
Jesper cracked his knuckles. “We shall.”  
“See, not that I’m afraid of you, but when I said that blood would be spilt-”  
Jesper cut Nina off. “No, no, we’re just going to discuss a very formal, very clean, very fair trade. With ours truly Kaz and Matthias, of course.”  
Matthias narrowed his eyes, and Kaz kept his expression blank, like he had for a majority of the game. It was sometimes too easy for Inej to forget he was in the room, because he said little and never had reactions on the scale of Jesper and Nina. “And what might that offer be?” Matthias asked.  
Jesper looked to Wylan once before continuing. “We will give you Marvin Gardens for St. Charles, take it or leave it.”  
Inej studied the situation. Giving St. Charles to Jesper and Wylan would give them their third Monopoly, and in exchange, Kaz and Matthias would get a second property of the yellow Monopoly; they still needed Ventnor Avenue to complete the Monopoly, which was currently unowned. This was a poor trade for Kaz and Matthias, so Inej wasn’t surprised when Kaz countered them after a short whispered conversation between him and Matthias.  
“We will accept this trade, only in exchange for all of your money.”  
Nina laughed. “Good one.”  
“He looks serious,” Inej whispered to her. This was something Kaz, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan needed to sort out, and Inej had no problem pulling her and Nina out of the conversation.  
Jesper turned to Wylan. It was hard for Inej to read their facial expressions. They mouthed a couple words to one another before Wylan took to speaking aloud. “Are you sure? Taking all of our money leaves us vulnerable to mortgaging properties.”  
Inej caught Jesper whisper, “What if we ask to keep Marvin Gardens and take Atlantic?”  
“Are they even going to accept that?”  
“Only one way to find out,” Jesper murmured before turning back to Kaz and Matthias. “We will accept your offer, only if we get to keep Marvin Gardens and you give us Atlantic.”  
Kaz and Matthias exchanged another glance, before turning back and nodding. “We’ll accept that,” Matthias said.  
After a long moment of silence, Wylan said, “I guess we have to hand over the money now.”  
Jesper shook his head solemnly. “I guess we do. But look on the brightside- new properties and a new monopoly!”  
“I can’t believe you actually just traded away all of your money,” Nina said, looking just as surprised as Inej felt.  
“Honestly? Me neither,” Jesper said. “No time to regret this. Kaz, Matthias, it’s your turn.”  
They were still in jail, and after the new cash income, they handed over the fifty dollars easily, and the top hat was moved to just visiting. They landed on their second railroad ending their turn.  
“Good luck,” Inej said to Jesper and Wylan. “If you end up having to pay money this turn, that could be a game ender.”  
“Alright, no pressure,” Wylan said softly as he rolled the dice. When their pawn landed one space before Kaz and Matthias’ railroad, one one of their purple properties, Jesper let out a long sigh of relief.  
“Well, that’s a relief,” Nina said, “the more formidable the competition, the better.”  
“In terms of property,” Inej countered, “those two are doing pretty well.” She waved her hand at Jesper and Wylan.  
“So are we,” Nina protested. “And we have the money.”  
“Good point.” Inej rolled. They landed on Marvin Gardens, which Jesper and Wylan shared a high five over.  
“That’s gotta be worth something, right?” Wylan reasoned.  
“You are correct. Twenty two dollars is, in fact, something,” Jesper read off the property card.  
“Well, like I said; we can afford to give away the money,” Nina said with a smug grin as she handed over the bills to Wylan.  
“Speaking of,” Inej started, “should we buy some houses for the reds? You know, while we have the money and all. At this point, the greater the cash income the better.”  
“Whatever would I do without you? Three more houses, please,” Nina said, taking the houses from the pile and placing them on the board.  
“This is kind of nerve wracking- I feel like the game could end at any moment.”  
In response to Jesper’s statement, Matthias snorted. “Good.”  
“Don’t mind him-” Nina waved a dismissive hand- “he knows he won’t win.”  
“We’ll see about that,” Kaz said, bringing the attention in the room to him. His silence during the game was unsettling, but even more than that were the moments when he broke said silence. Beside him, Matthias took the dice and rolled. They landed on Indiana Avenue which, courtesy of Inej and Nina, now had a house on it, bringing their rent total to ninety dollars.  
“Thank you!” Nina chirped as Mathias slid the bills over the table. “Well we’re just doing stupendously, aren’t we?” she said to her teammate.  
Wylan took the dice, and Inej could feel the tone in the room shift. Truly, one wrong roll could end the game for them. Inej almost hoped for it, but then realized her and Nina, after purchasing the houses, now had less money than Kaz and Matthias. Which, would make them win by default. Inej wondered if Nina was having the same revelation, because she was frowning.  
“A six,” Jesper breathed once the dice clatered onto the board. “That’s- free parking!”  
“Safe. For now.” Nina added menace to her voice.  
Jesper scoffed and crossed his arms. “What’re you gonna do? Take away my paper money and plastic houses?”  
“Yes, actually.”  
Inej swore she heard Kaz mutter, “Lucky bastards.” He wasn’t wrong. She was surprised all of them had yet to have to mortgage any properties.  
“The end is nigh” Nina stated, “I can feel it.”  
“The end of the Nina Inej empire,” Jesper countered. “If we’re being exact.”  
“If we’re being exact,” she shot back, “the empire that would take everything you have to dent.”  
“I have to keep telling myself the constant bickering will end soon,” Matthias sighed. “If I don’t I might just walk out the room myself.”  
Nina said, “Walking out of the room is an instant forfeit, so be my guest,” just as she took the dice from the table and rolled. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,” she said with each space moved. Inej sighed in relief that it was their railroad, and not one of Kaz and Matthias’. They could afford it, though it wouldn’t put them in the best position.  
Kaz and Matthias began to discuss putting houses on their green properties, when Nina leaned over to her and whispered, “Do you actually think they like each other?”  
Inej shrugged. “They don’t seem to like anyone.”  
“So they do like each other, okay.”  
Matthias handed over a majority of his and Kaz’s savings to Jesper, who handed them the houses.  
Inej sucked in a breath. “None of us are doing too good on money, huh?” she said as Kaz and Matthias took their turn, luckily, landing on one of their green properties.  
Jesper shook his head. “And you and Nina were so quick to flex.”  
“That was all Nina’s doing.”  
Nina placed a hand over her heart. “You wound me, my lady,” she pouted.  
“I thought we were wounding the competition.”  
“Oh, don’t worry my darling Inej, we are.”  
“I’m starting to think all you do is talk, Nina,” Matthias grumbled.  
“I roll dice and steal money too; a triple threat.”  
Matthias ignored her, and Jesper and Wylan took their turn. They were both crossing their fingers when the dice clatered onto the table. A nine, which took them to Marvin Gardens. Lucky they didn’t trade it away, Inej thought.  
“Real triple threats take their turn,” Jesper said, handing over the dice to Nina and Inej.  
“Real triple threats don’t take orders from non triple threats.” When this earned a collective sigh from Matthias and Kaz, Nina added, “I am rolling the dice on my own volition, for reference.” She rolled a five, taking her and Inej straight to go.  
“Let me guess, triple threats collect twenty dollar salaries when they pass go?” Jesper asked, handing over the money.  
Nina shot him a wink. “You betcha.”  
“By this logic, Inej is also a triple threat,” Matthias pointed out.  
“Thank you,” Inej said, not exactly sure where and how to continue the conversation.  
Matthias rolled, landing the tiny top hat on the community chest. He pulled the top card from the pile and read, “Doctor’s fees. Pay thirty dollars to the bank.” Inej realized that was about half of his and Kaz’s total salary.  
“Can anyone else hear intense violin music in their head?” Jesper said, and Inej saw his point. “Just me?”  
“I hear sweet victory violins in my head.”  
“Nina,” Inej started, “you talk a lot of trash, wouldn’t it be a bit embarrassing if you lost?”  
“And that’s why we’re not losing. I thought we established this.” This is why no one wanted to come to game night, Inej wanted to say.  
Wylan rolled double fours, landing him and Jesper on Park Place. Jesper let out an over dramatic sigh of relief, to which Matthias said, “Actually, rolling doubles means you have to roll again, which doesn’t put you in the best position.”  
Jesper gave him a glare. “Let us have our moment.” The dice were rolled again, taking them to their light blue properties. “And, we passed go, anyways.” He picked up two hundred dollar bills from the bank pile, not breaking eye contact with Matthias once.  
Nina closed her eyes and inhaled a long breath as she took the dice. “This could very well be the end. If it is, I want to say it’s been a pleasure serving with you, in Inej’s case, and a pleasure fighting against you, in the rest of you’s case.”  
Jesper saluted with a wide grin on his face. “And to you too, madam.” Nina gave him a nod with an expression that made Inej roll her eyes before she let the dice clatter onto the table. A nine, bringing them to Connecticut Avenue; property of Jesper and Wylan.  
“And that would be forty dollars, please,” Jesper said to Inej, holding his hand out for the money, which she placed in his palm.  
“So,” Inej said to her teammate, “how would you like to make the game worse for those four?”  
“You know I’m listening,” Nina responded.  
“We have the money, so a house for Baltic? I wouldn’t risk buying one for Mediterranean, we still need some savings.”  
“I like the way you think. One house, please.” And now Baltic Avenue had three houses on it, and Nina’s expression was all the more triumphant. “Too bad they’re already here” Nina noted, gesturing to Matthias and Kaz’s tiny top hat, placed on Baltic Avenue.  
“That doesn’t mean they can’t roll a two,” Inej said hopefully.  
And so, as Inej said it, Matthias picked up the dice and rolled a two. Nina and Jesper exploded into laughter.  
“Oh, that can’t be good for your bank account.” Jesper wiped his eyes.  
“Inej, you’re a genius,” Nina said, wrapping her in a hug, pulling her to the side of her chair. The armrest dug into her side and it was slightly awkward and uncomfortable, but Inej let her do it.  
“It is not,” Matthias said in response to Jesper’s comment. “How much is that?” He asked Inej and Nina.  
Nina checked the property card, and a grin spread across her face. “One hundred and eighty dollars,” she announced.  
“Shit,” Kaz swore under his breath.  
“Alright,” Nina sighed, placing her arms behind her head, cupping it with her hands. “I’m gonna let you boys sort out what you’re going to have to mortgage. Please, you’re welcome to take your time.”  
“Railroads would be worth the most. . .” Matthias trailed off. He and Kaz were going through each card they had, checking what the mortgage value was.  
“It’s one hundred for one railroad,” Kaz said with a sigh. Their railroads and the green properties were the only things they really had to mortgage.  
“So, two railroads and then we have twenty dollars to spare?” Matthias asked, waiting for confirmation from Kaz, who nodded.  
“Sounds reasonable.”  
“Do they get to keep the cards?” Jesper asked.  
Matthias shrugged. “If we’re going to pay it off eventually, what’s the point of giving them away.”  
Nina snorted. “Wishful thinking, buddy.”  
“So,” Jesper said, sorting the money out in front of him, “I’ll give one hundred to Nina and Inej, then split the other up and give you and Kaz the extras.” Now, Nina and Inej had the most money out of the three parties by far, as long as they stayed away from Boardwalk and Park Place. They were about to enter the pink and orange property territory, both currently under the ownership of Jesper and Wylan, and Inej hoped for a high roll that would take them to free parking after Jesper and Wylan went.  
“Since we have the money,” Jesper offered, “houses for Boardwalk?”  
Wylan shrugged. “May as well.” As Jesper did the money work, Wylan rolled the dice. Another seven, taking them to States Avenue.  
“Good to be home,” Jesper sighed, stretching out his arms.  
Inej picked up the dice, under her breath repeating, “High roll, high roll, high roll.” A six. Her heart sank for a moment, realizing that took them to B+O Railroad.  
Nina laughed. “Oh, I love mortgaged properties.” She and Inej exchanged yet another high five. Maybe they would actually win. Jesper and Wylan were in a pretty good spot too, but Kaz and Matthias seemed to have the short end of the stick.  
Matthias took the dice and rolled. Double fives. The hat landed on free parking. “What was that about having to take another turn not being favorable?” Jesper said to Matthias, his hand cupped around his ear  
He ignored Jesper, picking up the dice once more and rolling an eleven.  
“Ooh,” Nina cooed, “High numbers. And we were worried about Kaz loading the dice?”  
“I’m still not entirely convinced he didn’t just now,” Jesper said, crossing his arms.  
The roll took them around another corner, landing them on North Carolina Avenue.  
“Now all you have to do is get through Boardwalk,” Inej said. “And then maybe you can pay back some mortgages with the go money.”  
“Don’t help them!” Nina protested.  
“It was an observation.” Inej took the dice, praying for a good roll as she did so. A seven. Chance. She took the top card off the pile and read it aloud- “You have been elected chairman of the board. Pay each player fifty dollars.”  
“Yes!” Jesper pumped a fist in the air. When, reluctantly, Nina handed him and Matthias fifty dollars each, Jesper said, “Wait, if it’s each player and there’s technically four of the rest of us-”  
“No, Jesper,” Nina cut in, “we are not going to pay you one hundred dollars.”  
He shrugged. “Worth a shot.”  
Inej passed the dice to Matthias. “An eight would be Boardwalk. Please be an eight,” Nina said, grin wide.  
“Eight, eight, eight,” Jesper chanted while Matthias shook the dice in his hands, ignoring the two of them.  
The dice clatered onto the table.  
And-  
An eight.  
Jesper whooped, Nina laughed uncontrollably, Inej’s jaw dropped, Wylan smiled, Matthias placed his heads in his hands, and, of course, Kaz seemed to have no reaction. Except- Inej could’ve sworn she’d seen a sliver of sadness in his expression. Maybe his eyes were just glossy. Yeah, that was it.  
“Oh my god!” Jesper yelped, high fiving Wylan. “That’s got to be all of your properties, right?”  
“How much do you have now?” Inej asked, a sense of pride swelling in her, though it was Jesper and Wylan’s property that did the damage.  
Kaz counted the bills. “Currently? One hundred eleven.”  
Matthias sighed. “How much would the rent be?”  
“I would be so glad to indulge you,” Jesper said, checking the card. His eyes brightened. “One thousand and four hundred dollars.”  
The room fell silent.  
“Can you mortgage houses?” Kaz asked.  
Nina pulled the rules from the box, skimming the pages before she found what she was looking for. “Once the property has been mortgaged, the houses are returned to the bank, and are not worth any money to mortgage.”  
Silence once again, only broken by the crinkling of Nina fitting the pamphlet back into the box.  
Matthias started shuffling through the property cards in front of him. “One hundred dollars for the last railroad, one fifty for Pacific and North Carolina, one sixty for Pennsylvania. . .” He stopped. It was the moment they all realized that it was over.  
“So.” Wylan broke the silence. “Essentially, you don’t have enough.”  
“Not nearly enough,” Matthias grumbled.  
Jesper enveloped Wylan in a hug. “We did it!”  
“So the game is over,” Kaz said. Jesper nodded, grin wide.  
“Wait!” Inej yelped. “If we’re not playing anymore, the win falls to the team with the most money. Which. . .” She took another glance at Jesper and Wylan’s money, and then her and Nina’s sizeable pile, and smirked.  
Jesper’s face immediately soured. “Wait-”  
Nina whooped again. “That’s right bitches!” She cupped her mouth with her hands. “What. Did. I. Say. Of course me and Inej won.”  
Wylan crumpled in his seat, and Jesper looked like someone just told him his bike was stolen. At this point, Kaz and Matthias were entirely exhausted, and seemed bored. “But- we had Boardwalk!” Jesper protested.  
“And we, good sir,” Nina countered, “had the money. It’s no surprise two kickass women won instead of-” she scrunched up her nose- “you all.”  
“You’re right,” Jesper amended. He shot a dirty look at Kaz and Matthias. “Straight cis white men are disgusting.”  
“Just like that, you’re going to side with them?” Matthias protested.  
“You know what? I am, because Nina and Inej are lovely people, and I know for a fact they didn’t cheat.”  
“If we would’ve cheated,” Matthias said sharply, “we wouldn’t have lost.”  
“You just didn’t try hard enough. And, I mean-” Nina checked her nails- “I don’t exactly blame you. Me and Inej are a hard pair to beat.”  
“They weren’t competition from the start,” Inej said, making a similar motion to Nina’s.  
“You made Inej competitive? Nina, what did you do?” Jesper said, shaking his head.  
Nina held up her hands. “It wasn’t me, it was the game- don’t shoot the messenger.”  
“The only thing this game made,” Matthias interjected, “was me regret signing up for this in the first place.”  
“Welp,” Wylan said, pushing his chair back and standing. “It was a well fought match.”  
“Ditto.” Jesper followed suit, holding his hand out for a shake, though no one of them but Wylan were close enough to him to shake it.  
“Let you all remember this as the day as two women kicked your asses at Monopoly,” Nina stated once she was on her feet. Matthias, Kaz and Inej followed. Nina hugged Inej from the side. “And Inej, as always, remember that you’re amazing and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the world.” Inej was used to the constant compliments by now, but every one made her feel a bit better about herself.  
“If you two are done cuddling,” Kaz said sharply, “can we decide who’s going to clean this up?”  
Silence fell upon them yet again, before Nina and Jesper said, simultaneously, “Not it!” before dragging Inej out of the room.  
“That’s not fair!” Wylan called after them.  
Nina hollered back, “Losers clean up!”  
“Which means you should go join them,” Inej said to Jesper.  
He ignored her jab, waving a hand before slipping an arm around her shoulders.  
“Let’s never get pineapple pizza and play board games together again, shall we?” Nina said after a beat of silence.  
Jesper and Inej nodded. “Agreed.”

**Author's Note:**

> wow um thank you for getting through this shit show? anyways, this is my piece for the grishaverse big bang 2020! many thanks are in order; to my lovely beta nolu on tumblr, thank you for sifting through the garbage. and to my lovely artists and edit makers: bluedelladraw, cinn0nym, sassysaltysarcasticstupid, awtetsuya27, and murderspoonz all on tumblr! you guys are crazy talented and seeing your work has been the best part of this experience :)
> 
> its my first fic over 500 words, so have mercy, but don't be afraid to let me know what you think! you're so very valid, have a great night :) [because lets be honest here, who reads fanfiction at any other time than the night and very early morning?]


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